FOUR YEARS PASSED. Ever since I was born, she constantly tried to get my dad to impregnate her once again. She was almost obsessed with the idea of getting pregnant. No one but my mom and I knew the reason; even then, I only knew the reason because one night, in a rage, my mom told me the truth.
"You were supposed to be a son!" She yelled at me. "If you were a son, I could've gotten a shot at the luxurious life I was meant to have when I married your father! Instead, I got you ━ a disappointment of a daughter!"
At the age of four, I didn't understand her words back then. All I knew is that my mom was angry and yelling at me, so I did nothing but cry and scream. Once I grew older a bit older, around my teens, the memory resurfaced and I finally understood.
Eventually, my mom was granted her wish of becoming pregnant again. She was elated, so happy that she even ignored her favorite child; my older sister. My mom went to doctor appointments religiously and every time she asked the gender of the baby, the nurse would reply, "It's a boy."
Upon hearing that, my mom would adopt this satisfied look on her face and start planning for the baby brother I was supposed to have. She kept Yuri close to her, making her act as a makeshift midwife while I was kept as far away from her as if I was some cancerous disease. I didn't mind since it meant less work for me and more playtime for my almost five-year-old self.
I don't think my older sister, Yuri, shared the same elated thoughts as my mom. Sure, Yuri would kindly accept every request my mom would make and work diligently for her, but Yuri never really accepted the idea of having a younger brother. Especially since the younger brother received all this attention before he was even born, Yuri probably despised the amount of attention he would receive once he was born.
So, the most loved and adored child of the Han family began to make some moves of her own.
Yuri is quite a complicated character. Although she's my sister and I see her as such, I don't think she sees me as anything more than a pawn she can use and discard. The reason why I say this is because of the way she broke my trust in her entirely.
Let me be clear: before this incident, I've never held any hate against my older sister. Yes, I was jealous and a little bit envious of the attention that she received from our parents. Maybe I even despised her at one point. This, however, doesn't mean I've ever fully hated Yuri.
As for Yuri, I never really knew what type of feelings she held for me. Whether negative or positive, it was always hiding behind her signature white lotus persona she inherited from mom. After a while, I began to suspect that she didn't even really see me as family. Rather, she saw me more as a nuisance than anything.
During the seventh month of my mom's pregnancy, I got a glimpse of Yuri's true colors.
Every morning, for the past seven months, Yuri would make my mom a bowl of porridge. Along with the porridge, Yuri would give our mom a cup of tea. She would patiently wait by our mother's side to watch her finish her meal before collecting the dishes and dutifully returning the dishes to the kitchen to wash.
Once, I was curious and asked Yuri what type of tea she made mom. It had a unique type of smell, one I was certain that it was not any of the common teas I knew, and so I naturally asked about it. It was kind of funny how Yuri had paused, standing still at the sink while I stood behind her. Then, with a weird smile on her face, she turned to me and said, "It is a very special tea that I made for mom."
I didn't ask anything any further. Even though she didn't exactly answer my question, I thought her smile was too eerie for me to ask for more information. I wish I hadn't asked her at the time. I wish I hadn't been curious and probed any further.
Maybe that way, I could still play ignorant and not hold a suspicion against her when a month later, my mom lost the baby.
Comments